


Wild Hobbits

by MixedLove



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-28 18:37:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15712803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MixedLove/pseuds/MixedLove





	Wild Hobbits

Hobbits are fascinating creatures, aren't they? They don't care much for other races, and what they think of them. The Big Folk are too clumsy and obtrusive. Dwarrows are too rude and greedy. Elves are excessively tall and haughty. Hobbits were once hunted for their skills and have long since become a reclusive race. They have a short stature of normally no taller than 4'6 and no smaller than 2'0. Growing no hair on their bodies other than their heads, and feet; their feet are large and thick-soled, and their ears pointed. They have clawed fingers to help protect them, as well as sharp teeth. The sense of smell belonging to a Hobbit is very strong. Hobbits are also quite feral. Descended from a race of wild elves, they had long since adapted to their chosen environment.

They come of age when they're 33 years old. Children are trained in the art of stealth, just in case their home is discovered, and strength is developed by roughhousing with other Hobbits. Medical skills are taught to those who show an aptitude in them. Hobbits have a wolf's mentality when it comes to their pack. They obey those of higher ranking. The Thain is their primary Alpha. They listen to the elders and push the authority of others instinctively. As a rule, no Hobbit carries a weapon, other than their claws and teeth.

Now that that's all settled, we'll begin with the story.

A wizard clothed in gray made his way up the narrow path and to the smial waiting at the end. There he was greeted by a half-clothed hobbit lying splayed out in the sun.

The young hobbit barely looked up murmuring, "Good Morning".

The figure in gray peered at him. "Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it's a good morning whether I want it or not; or that it is a morning to be good on?"

Now the hobbit looks up at the wizard, considering. "All of them, I suppose. It's nice and sunny, perfect to sunbathe in. I feel that it's a good morning, so I don't care if you do or not. If I'm not good; I'll get in trouble, whether it's morning or not."

"I'm looking for someone to go on an adventure." The gray stated.

"An adventure, those things make hobbits late for snack and playtime. Dreadful things they are. You won't find anyone looking for an adventure in these parts." He went back to his sunbathing, doing his best to ignore the meddlesome old man. "Good Morning. We don't need or want any adventures over here; try over the Hill or across the Water." He was trying to unsuccessfully end the conversation.

"Quite a lot of things you use good morning for," said the wizard. "Now you mean to get rid of me; which won't be good until I leave!"

"Yes, yes, you are an annoying old man," by now Bilbo was getting tired of this. "Let me think for a moment. I don't believe I know your name." He said, unamused.

"You do know my name, though I don't believe that you remember I belong to it. I am Gandalf and Gandalf is me! To think, I have lived this long to be good-morning by the son of Belladonna Took, as if I was selling buttons at the door!"

"I believe that I would've preferred it if you were selling buttons at my door. At least that would have been far more useful than having this conversation. Is the name Gandalf supposed to mean a lot to me? Yes, you gave Old Took a pair of magical earrings, told adventurous tales at numerous parties, and lit up fireworks designed to look like flowers, of all things. Not to mention you're the cause all the elders are tightening the ropes on us all because you seem to like taking us on adventures and returning us different then when we left; if we returned at all!"

"Yes, I am Gandalf. I am pleased that you do remember me after all, even if those memories aren't quite as pleasant as I'd have hoped. For your grandfather Took's sake, and that of your mother's; I will give you what you've asked for."

"If it's not peace in the warm sun until playtime, or you leaving I don't ask for anything," Bilbo stated crossly.

"Yes, you have; twice now. In fact, I'll send you on this adventure. Very amusing for me, very good for you- profitable as well, very likely- should you ever get over it."

"Sorry that I'm not! I don't want any adventures today, or any other. Come for play if you'd like! How about tomorrow? Come tomorrow! Goodbye, and Good Morning." At that Bilbo finally gave up and retreated inside, muttering about old wizards who don't know when to shut up, and about maybe having an extra drumstick.

"Now why on a beast's backside did I ask him to play time? It's not like he'd be able to after all, as old and frail as he seems." He then went to one of the pantries to grab a much-needed drumstick to cool his ire.  
Gandalf, however, had not yet left and was looking rather closely at the round green door of the den. As if making up his mind the wizard nodded and with the tip of his staff drew an odd-looking symbol, turned, and left. Never the wiser, Bilbo was munching on his third drumstick hoping that the wizard wouldn't show up the next day.

By the next morning, Bilbo had just about forgotten about Gandalf. While he may have an excellent memory, he only remembers things he deems important; in others words, not Gandalf. Bilbo was wrestling with his friends when the doorbell rang.

"Alright, cut it out! We have a guest." Bandorbas Townsend, an Alpha-like Hobbit in charge of watching over playtime in the Baggins den, called out.

At once all hobbits stopped their roughhousing, some in the middle of pinning another down, others trying to get unpinned, and more in the motion of biting, kicking, or clawing. Opening the door Bandorbas spots a dwarf.

"Dwalin, at your service." He spoke with a bow.

"Bandorbas Townsend, at yours." He bowed back and stepped to the side. "Please come in. Hang your cloak on one of the hooks."

"Pups, introduce tell your names to Master Dwalin. No playing till I come back." With that, he grabbed Dwalin's cloak and headed further into the smial.

The young hobbits looked at each other and formed a line. "Hi! I'm Talia Townsend, nice to meet you. Hello, I'm Kathrine Fairfoot, a pleasure to be of your acquaintance. Rudigar Underfoot, welcome to the Shire. Marmaduke Featherbottom, may your food be plentiful. Diamanda Barrows, welcome to Hobbiton. Bilbo Baggins, welcome to my den. Basina Oldfoot, I've never seen a dwarf before. Bachildis Undertree, nice to meet you." At the end of their introduction, each hobbit took a bow.

"Dwalin, at your service." He said once again bowing back at them with a bemused look on his face.

At this Talia Townsend spoke up, "Oh no! You mustn't be at our service. You're in the service of Bilbo; this is his den after all. We're only here for playtime and snacks!" Agreeing with her words all the hobbits nodded.

Now poor Master Dwalin looked even more confused. "What is play time, and why are you in Master Baggins' home to do it?"

Rudigar Underfoot stepped up looking scandalized. "Do you mean that you've never had play time? How do you dwarves develop your skills if not with your pack mates? Everyone knows that the best way to gather skills is to do it with your pack!"

"Right!" echoed the rest of the hobbits.

Bandorbas came back and whacked them all over the head with a heavy fist. "Don't go pushing our ways of doing things on Master Dwalin. He's a Dwarf, we are Hobbits. I'm sure that they have different ways of doing things then we do. Where are your manners, Pups? What are you supposed to do after you introduce yourselves?"

"Invite them into the den?" Bachildis spoke timidly.

"And if that's already been done?"

"Ask for their name?" Basina said.

"No, that goes before you let them into the den!" Bilbo exclaimed.

"Yeah, that goes before you even introduce yourself!" Katherine piped up.

"Well if you two oh so clearly know the answers, why don't you say them?" Rudigar growled not liking that they were ganging up on Bachildis.

Thump! Thump! Thump! That was the sound of Bandorbas' fist landing on the heads of Bilbo, Rudigar, and Katherine. "If you are going to start a squabble then do so when there is not a guest." Now, he was getting angry. He then turned to Dwalin who was standing there watching them. "I apologize for the lack of manners these eight are showing." Turning back, he looked at the hobbits.

"Talia, Katherine, Rudigar, Marmaduke, Diamanda, Basina, and Bachildis, you all have got to get back to your dens before tea time is through. Grab a breast to munch on the way back to your respective dens, and don't forget to thank Bilbo for allowing us to use his den for playtime. Bilbo, Matilda will be here in around an hour to check up on you. Make sure not to forget your manners, understood?"

"Yes, alpha Bandorbas; we hear you loud and clear." They chorused back sarcastically.

"Would you like to take that tone with me again?" He looked at them with a raised brow.

"No, sir." Off they trotted breast in and they exited the den, each thanking Bilbo on the way out.

"We were born in the wild,

Free as can be.

Though the conditions were mild

We carved out our own destiny.

Our paths may falter,

Our will may fail,

But through the night we will prevail."

"Do be careful, Bilbo you never know what will happen." With those words of warning, Bandorbas exited the den.

Now all alone Bilbo turns to his guest. "I apologize for my lack of manners earlier. Will you forgive me?"

Dwalin just laughed. "Compared to dwarfs that was polite, but if you insist."

Then there was a knock on the door. Is it Gandalf? He was supposed to be here far earlier, he thought. "Coming!" opening the door, he spotted a very old looking dwarf with a red robe on at the door. "Oh dear, you're an elder. You shouldn't be traveling around this late. Excuse me, Bilbo Baggins at your service."

"Balin at your service." The dwarf bowed hand over heart.

"Come in, Elder Balin. Would you like some tea? You should have some as well, Mister Dwalin."

Bilbo bustled to the side room taking Balin's red robe with him.

"I'd like some beer if it's all the same to you and lots of seed cake as well." He replied.

"I've got plenty of seed cake, but hobbits don't drink beer, so you'll have to forgive me when I say that I have none. Come and take a seat at the table, Elder Balin, Master Dwalin. Do you two happen to be related?"

"That we are, lad; brothers to be exact."

Bilbo bustled into the pantry retrieving the two seed cakes then back to the kitchen to grab two mugs of tea. "Here you go. I'm not sure what type of tea you like so I got you one of the fruity types." He explained. As he was heading back into the kitchen the doorbell rung once more, only this time it rang twice. Bustling to the door he threw it open, and on the porch were two dwarfs. "What can I do for you today dwarfs?" By now Bilbo was hardly surprised.

"Fili and Kili at your service, Mr. Hobbit." They bowed to him just like the two others had.

"Bilbo Baggins at yours and your family's."

"It looks like Balin and Dwalin got here before us, Fili." "Let' go join the throng, Kili!"

How many people is a throng? I do wonder if they want something to drink, it is teatime after all. Then again, tea time might have passed some ten minutes ago. He went off to pour more some tea for the tow new dwarfs that had arrived. When he got to the table the four of them were talking about dragons, goblins, and gold. Why they were talking about things so odd were none of his business; curious or not. "Here you are, two mugs of green tea!"

"Thank you, Master Baggins." They chimed.

"Call me Bilbo; you're probably older than I am."

Ding-a-ling, ding-a-ling, ding-a-ling, ding-a-ling, was the sound of the doorbell being rung multiple times.

Once more he went to the door to let in the guests. "Bilbo begins, at your service"

"Dori, at your service. Nori, at your service. Ori, at your service. Gloin, at your service. Oin, at your service."

"Come inside. At the table are seed cake and I'll get you some tea. Leave any large or bulky weapons in the room on the left. Put your robes and cloaks on the hooks; they'll before you leave."

"Elder Dori? How many more should I expect?" Bilbo questioned too many more and he'd have nowhere to put them. Not to mention that Elder Matilda would be coming soon.

"Don't worry, Lad. All that's left are the wizard and Thorin." He said ushering Ori into the dining room that held the rest of the dwarfs.

"Mister Bilbo, what is there to eat around here?" Kili called out, hungry.

"No meal until Elder Matilda arrives! There aren't supposed to be so many strangers in a young hobbit's home without an Elder. I don't know what to do with you all, nor do I have the authority to question you or allow you to stay in my den. I have to wait until the Elder arrives, then she'll decide what to do with you all!" Bilbo exclaimed. He was feeling mighty confused after all.

He'd been told off for not being polite to Dwalin, but he didn't think that Alpha Bandorbas had expected this many dwarfs to show up. If he had he would've surely stayed. It was then that Bilbo realized his mistake. He had forgotten to tell them of the wizard! This will surely get him into trouble. Now not only was it the wizard's fault but his own as well.

"Why is it that you need someone to tell you what to do in your own home?" Oin questioned looking suspicious.

"Elders generally don't hold the right to order us to do something without complaint. That's what Alpha's have the right to do. Elders advise us on what to do, and if we don't listen to their advice and the situation gets worse the Elder has the right to inform the Alpha." Bilbo explained looking at them all oddly. "Don't you know anything about Hobbits?"

"How would we know anything about Hobbits? We're Dwarfs." Nori called out.

"You know there's something important about you dwarfs that I can't remember; whether it's good or bad," Bilbo claimed running through his memory to see what it was. "Oh well. I'm sure it will come to me later on. Anyway, since most, if not all, of you, know nothing about Hobbit I may as well tell you about us."

Just as he was about to do that the doorbell rang. "That must be the last of your company." He opened the door to see the sight of a surly dwarf and the wizard.

"Wizard I thought you said that this place wouldn't be hard to find. I got lost 3 times in this place before you showed up." The dwarf grumbled.

"Bilbo Baggins at your service, Master Dwarf. Please leave your robe, any heavy weapons, and your boots in the room to the left. The same to you, Wizard."

"Wizard, this is the Hobbit you talk about? He looks like nothing more than a grocer." Thorin started to walk around the hobbit-like a predator does to its prey. "I am Thorin Oakenshield, King under the Mountain. Tell me, hobbit; what is your choice of weapon? Be it the sword or ax?"

By now, Bilbo was beyond annoyed. "Neither. If you knew anything about Hobbits, you would know that we don't carry weapons, or use them without the express permission of the Alpha."

"Why would I have any need to know anything about Hobbits?" The king sneered.

"You are the one who called yourself king; did you not? If you're a so-called king, then you should know at least the basics of the races on Middle Earth. And you dwarfs wonder why others like elves more." Bilbo huffed.

"Sit down, Mister Dwarf. Pour yourself some tea and grab one of the seed cakes. You may as well join your group in the history lesson."

Bilbo spun on his heel and faced the rest of the dwarfs. "Come along, follow me. We'll have this conversation in the sitting room. It should be large enough to fit you all. Grab the platter of seed cakes, if you wouldn't mind, Mister Kili. Mister Ori, if you wouldn't mind grabbing the teapots that would be much appreciated."

Leading the dwarfs into a large room with a fireplace already lit and crackling merrily, pointed to two tables for the tea and cake to be put, and gestured for everyone to sit down.

After all the guests were seated he began.

"Hobbits were descended from an extensive line of wild elves, and distantly mated by dwarfs. This is the cause of our pointed ears and short stature. The wild elves were cast out of Greenwood, now known as Mirkwood, and Rivendell when they were accused of treason. Now, centuries later it was discovered that they were framed, but the damage was already done. Neither elves from Mirkwood, nor elves from Rivendell wanted the banished elves to come back. The banished elves didn't much care because they had made a life of their own and weren't going to change for the elves that had abandoned them."

"How did dwarfs come to breed with the wild elves?" Ori questioned.

"I'm getting to that. Anyway, when the elves were cast out they knew that they had done nothing wrong, but they also knew that they had no proof. Both groups of banished elves met when their separate paths leading to the old forest road merged, and never parted ways. Both groups saw more strength in numbers when they headed near the Old Forest. 200 years before they had merged paths both groups had run into dwarfs and had children with them, but when they had decided to keep traveling the dwarfs stayed behind, while most of the children left with them."

"Why did the dwarfs stay behind?" Kili asked.

"They stayed because they would have had little use, or happiness in the habitat of Hobbits, and they knew it."

"Are you implying that dwarfs are useless!" Thorin thundered.

"No, you King Under His Own Rock-Hard Skull!" Bilbo shouted back, his naming of Thorin brought up a few snickers.

Bilbo was about to continue with his history lesson when the doorbell rung once more.

"Now what is it?" He said exasperated, throwing his hands up.

He opened the door to reveal Elder Matilda.

"Greetings, Elder Matilda." He said with a bow, careful not to make eye contact.

"Greetings, Pup." She replied, not giving him permission to rise. "What's this I'm hearing about you having foreign guests? Hmm?"

"A group of traveling dwarfs and a wizard became my guests earlier in the day," Bilbo replied still not rising from his bow.

"You didn't have enough sense to go and get an Alpha?" She questioned, voice highly reproachful.

"Alpha Bandorbas scolded me for not being polite to them and left me in their company," he retorted.

Sorry about not updating I was busy with testing, finals, and bringing up my French grade.

"Alpha Bandorbas scolded me for not being polite to them and left me in their company," he retorted.

"He will be receiving a visit from The Alpha later then." She replied. "You may rise, pup."

"Thank you," Bilbo stepped back to allow the Elder to enter his den.

"Now then," she began. "What are dwarfs doing in the Shire? Not to mention without making an agreement with The Alpha first?"

"They-" Bilbo started before being cut off with a quick cuff to the head.

"Pups are to be seen and not heard during an adult conversation." She scolded him, never removing her eyes from the dwarfen group.

"Excuse me, Miss," Ori stepped forward in the group when nobody else seemed to want to answer.

"What did I just tell Bilbo?" she demanded crossly. "Pups are not to speak during adult conversations! Come here, dwarf pup." When he made no motions to come closer to her she said, "Now."

When Ori finally scuttled over Elder Matilda pointed over to where Bilbo was and told them both to sit and be quiet.

"Now then. It has occurred to me that I have been rude so I will make my amends now. My name is Matilda Gamwich. My age is none of your concern. To you, I will be called Elder Matilda, as is my title." She announced. "What are your names and titles, dwarfs?"

At this Dwalin stepped forward, "Greetings, Elder Matilda. I am Dwalin son of Fundin. What are the titles your race uses?"

At this, the Elder rose a brow, "Hobbit uses the titles: pups, omegas, betas, alphas, and elders."

"Thank you," he replied before introducing himself and stepping to the side. "I am Dwalin son of Fundin kin to Balin. I am a Beta."

Balin stepped up after him. "I am Balin, son of Fundin and kin to Dwalin. I am an Elder."

Dori stepped up next. "I am Dori son of Ri, kin to Nori and Ori. I am an Elder."

Nori was pushed out afterward. "I am Nori son of Ri, kin to Ori and Dori, son of Ri. I am a Beta."

Ori stood up from his spot by to Bilbo. "I'm Ori, son of Ri, kin to Dori and Nori. I am a Pup."

Bombur waddled forward next. "I am Bombur son of Ur, kin to Bofur and Bifur. I am a Beta."

Bifur shoved his way from between Fili and Bofur. "I'm Bifur son of Ur, kin to Bombur and Bofur. I am an Elder."

Bofur elbowed Fili and Kili out of the way and stated, "I am Bofur son of UR, kin to Bifur and Bofur. I am an Elder."

Gloin came up next. "Gloin, son of Groin, kin to Oin. I'm a Beta."

Oin stood next to him. "Oin, son to Groin, kin to Gloin. I'm a Beta."

Thorin walked forward. "I'm Thorin, son to Thrain, kin to Fili and Kili. I'm an Alpha."

Fili and Kili walked up. "We're Fili and Kili, sons to Dis, kin to Thorin. We're Pups."

Last, but not least, Gandalf stands above them all. "I am Gandalf the Grey. I would be considered an Elder."

Nodding sharply, Elder Matilda looked at all of them. "Pleased to meet you, dwarfs. Dwarf pups, sit by Bilbo if you wouldn't mind. Bilbo, introduce yourself."

"I already have, Elder." Bilbo protests.

The Elder backhands him without a glance, sending him tumbling on top of Ori. "Pups are to follow orders without question."

Bilbo stands up and introduces himself. "I'm Bilbo Baggins. I'm a Pup."

"Now that we've all been introduced, I'd like to know just why you dwarfs-and wizard is here." She gives them a sharp look.

Thorin steps out of the group to explain the reason for their presence in Hobbiton. "We have come to collect the thirteenth member of our quest."

Elder Matilda rose a brow, "What quest are you speaking of?"

"The manner of the quest is not to be spoken of to outsiders," Thorin growled, arms crossed over his chest threateningly.

"If you expect to gain a member of your quest in Hobbiton, then you will have to share the details with the Thain at the very least." She replied her tone indicating that the Thain wouldn't be the only one knowing of the super important quest of theirs.

"Why're you questioning us, then? If your Thain is your ruler?" Ori spoke out from his place between Kili and Bilbo.

The Elder swung a heavy gaze over to him that conveyed the message that she didn't care if he was a Dwarf or not. She wouldn't hesitate to smack him for the perceived impudence. "As I have said before," she spoke her look becoming more threatening. "Pups are to be seen not heard."

"Actually," Fili muttered, thinking that she wouldn't be able to hear him. "You didn't."

As quick as a whip, the Elder's previously unnoticed cane whipped both Fili and Ori on their cheeks. "You will soon come to learn the Hobbits have excellent hearing." She told him, dispassionately.

"Excuse me," Dori spoke up, visibly steaming. "But, correct me if I'm wrong, it is uncourteous for a stranger of a different race to punish a child without permission from their guardian. Is it not?"

Matilda simply sniffed at him as if he was not worth the effort of wasting precious oxygen in answering his question. "I'm afraid you are indeed wrong, Elder Dori. In Hobbiton, all Pups, Omegas, Betas, and Alphas are treated the same."

"Except for the Thain, I take it?" Dwalin cut in unexpectedly

"You dwarves truly know nothing, do you? The Thain is not an Alpha. He is The Alpha." She told them as haughty as a primped-up princess. "Since this discussion will be going nowhere anytime soon, I'm afraid that the Thain must be called in to deal with you miscreants. Wizard, since you are obviously the reason for these dwarves being here you will come with me to the Thain." Elder Matilda then swept out of the den without so much as a by your leave to the rest of them, with Gandalf following.

"Just what did you expect, Gandalf, when you barged your way into a Pup's den with 12 dwarrow behind you?" Matilda snarled as she pulled Gandalf down the street to the Thain by the beard. "Did you expect to be warmly received by someone whom you hadn't visited in decades? Why, by all rights, Bilbo would have been well within his rights to attack you the minute you put your wrinkly, warty, speckled foot into his smial!"

"Now you see here, Matilda!" Gandalf boomed, ignoring her rebuttal of 'Elder Matilda', and attracting more attention to himself. "Bilbo Baggins invited me over himself for tea!"

Here the Elder snorted. "Tea? What tea would a pup drink? Pups only drink honeyed milk and ginger water. Now I know you're lying, Wizard!"

She reached the smial of the Thain at long last, and heavily pounded upon its circular pine wood door, remembering to let go of Gandalf's beard on the third knock. The door opened swiftly in response.

"Who is it!" The Thain growled, having been interrupted from his ham shoulder steak. Now, don't misunderstand, but the Thain was a fair Alpha. That impression may be slightly tarnished right now, though, as he was taken away from his meal. Nobody likes to be interrupted when they're eating something tasty.

"Elder Matilda with Gandalf the Gray accompanying her, Alpha." A Bounder replied from on top of the smial.

"Let them in," he commanded the Bounder at the door.

The Bounder at the door stepped aside and led the unexpected guests into the dining room.

"Take a seat." The Thain gestured to the remaining chairs at the table. Once everyone was seated he reached over and put a chunk of ham on each plate.

"Now then, Matilda, why are you here?" he spoke getting down to business.

"This wizard, Gandalf the Grey he calls himself, attempted to lure one of our pups into one of his ridiculous quests with a group of dwarfs." She sniffed giving Gandalf a dirty look.

At this, the Thain froze. "He did what!" he spat. While Hobbits are very fertile, they still treasured their pups greatly.

"He did," Matilda nodded her head. "He tried to get Bilbo Baggins to join a group of twelve dwarfs."

"Start from the beginning, Elder." He ordered.

"I left my smial early so I could make it to Bilbo's den and along the road, I spotted Alpha Bandorbas leading a group of pups back to their homes. I stopped and shared greetings with him, then I heard one of the pups mention that there was a dwarf in the pup's smial! I was shocked. I confronted Bandorbas about what I heard once the pups had been delivered safely to their dens. He told me a dwarf named Dwalin had shown up when they had been about to leave. Bandorbas said that the pups were being rude to the dwarf but after a quick correction to their behavior he reminded Bilbo to be polite, then left."

"You learned of dwarfs from a pup?"

"Yes, Alpha."

"Bandorbas did not question the dwarf on his presence at a pup's den?"

"No, Alpha."

"Bandorbas left a pup in the company of an unknown person?"

"Yes, Alpha."

The Thain was furious. An Alpha left a stranger, with unknown intentions, with a pup. He didn't question said stranger. He did not inform a Bounder of the Dwarf's presence.

"Milo!" he snapped. "Bring me Alpha Bandorbas."

"As you wish." The Bounder replied disappearing.

"Gorbaduc!"

"Yes, Alpha?"

"Take the wizard to the cells. Give him three meals a day and a straw bed to sleep on."

In response, the Bounder grabbed Gandalf and led him out of the Thain's den.

After the meddlesome wizard was led out, the Thain heaved a heavy sigh. It always comes back to that darn wizard, he thought. First, it was his favorite granddaughter, Belladonna, and now it's his youngest great-grandchild. Normally, he wouldn't mind the wizard so much, but not only had he tried to convince a pup to leave the safety of the Shire, he also escorted a group of unfamiliar dwarfs into said pup's den and tried to lead him on a quest to steal from and possibly kill a dragon.

As he was thinking of this a thought popped into his head. Why would a group of dwarfs want to steal from a dragon? After they fled from their mountain, one would think that they would stay away from the dragons. Then, it came to him. It's the Durins! That right, the dwarfs are on a quest to retrieve their mountain and they probably want that cursed jewel of theirs too.

"Bounder!" He called. A moment later a bounder dropped down from their place. "Bring me the leader of the band of dwarfs." The bounder left to complete their task.

"What was all that about, Mister Bilbo?" Kili asked as they watched the elder drag Gandalf down the road.

"It's the duty of the elders to sort out problems," Bilbo replied, as he bustled around his kitchen to pull out his next meal. "It's awfully rude of her not to stay for teatime." Laying out the food and tea he then proceeded to ask them if they wanted to continue the history session.

"Considering that the wizard is indisposed of," Thorin shot a look at Bilbo. "We might as well."

"Good," Bilbo nodded. "I left off at the dwarfs staying behind right?" At the nods he received, Bilbo continued. "While sad, the wild elves continued on their path, taking the majority of the children with them. After another century or so, the wild elves had bred enough with each other, and the occasional dwarf, that they lost their height and became the size we are now. Around two to four feet tall. During that time period, we met a group of skin-changers, such a lovely lot they were. We stayed with them for years, learning their customs, traditions, and social hierarchy, which we adapted into our own. That's why we have rankings like pup, omega, beta, alpha, and elder. We bred with the skin-changers and ended up with our thick-skinned and hairy feet, our sharp claws teeth, and our heightened senses. Eventually, just like centuries before with the dwarfs, we knew it was time to leave. We separated from the skin-changers and continued on our path which led us to the Shire. It was there we decided to settle and build our homes. Using what was left of our dwarf parentage, as well as the knowledge the skin -changers had given us, we created our dens and towns. In time, we called ourselves Hobbits. We separated into different families and spread out over the Shire. My clans, the Baggins and the Took, resided in Hobbiton and still do now." Bilbo ended.

"Any questions?" He asked.

"Why did you change your names to Hobbits?" Ori asked.

"After a while, humans started to get confused, so we just changed our name to make it easier for them," Bilbo replied.

Ori was about to ask another question when someone knocked on the door.

"Excuse me," Bilbo said, going to answer the door.

"Pup," A bounder greeted. "The Alpha requires the presence of Thorin Oakenshield."

"I'll tell him," Bilbo nodded.

"Master Oakenshield?" Bilbo called.

"What is it, Halfling?" Thorin growled.

"I am half of nothing!" Bilbo snarled. He would have attacked Thorin as well   
if the Bounder hadn't grabbed him by his neck

"Control, Pup," the Bounder said as if he hadn't snatched Bilbo out of mid-air.

When Bilbo growled at him, the Bounder gave him a rough shake and growled back in a more threatening tone.

"Thorin Oakenshield?" the Bounder glanced at the grouped dwarfs and landed on Thorin. "The Thain requires your presence." Then as a second thought, he told the whole group, "Do not call any Hobbit a Halfling. It is extremely offensive and will lead to you being attacked by those lacking in self-restraint." He gave Bilbo another rough shake and dropped him.

"I'm not going anywhere until the Wizard comes back," Thorin snarled.

"The Wizard has been detained," the Bounder replied. "Are you offering resistance?"

Though Thorin looked as if he was about to say yes, Balin's elbow convinced him of otherwise.

Nodding, the Bounder led Thorin out of the den and shut the door behind him.

After the door shut, Kili asked Bilbo, "Where's he taking Uncle Thorin?"

Bilbo told him, "To the den of the Thain. The Thain must want to speak to him about something."

"Is Thorin going to be in trouble?" Ori questioned.

"Probably not," Bilbo shrugged. "The Thain's probably pretty angry at being interrupted from his meal, but he won't take it out on your Alpha."

"Why do you call him our Alpha?" Dwalin gruffly asked.

"Because he is. As the leader of your group and because he seems to have enough experience, he is your Alpha."

"Why are Kili, Ori, and I Pups?" Fili wanted to know.

"You're too young and inexperienced to be anything else," Bilbo said.

"How would you know?" Kili scowled.

"Instinct, of course," Bilbo replied. "How else would you know whether or not to challenge someone?"

"What do you mean?" Gloin asked, curious.  
"Pups challenge Pups, Betas to Betas, and Alphas to Alphas," Bilbo explained. "Elders don't challenge or get challenged because if an Elder gets hurt and dies valuable information will be lost. We don't attack out of our station because we know when we'll be beaten. Though" Bilbo paused briefly, "Sometimes we attack in groups to win, but then you have to split the prize."

"Why did you growl at the other Hobbit, then?" Balin questioned.

"First, because he grabbed my neck, which is a vulnerable place for anyone. Second, because he stopped me from attacking my prey. Third, because I wasn't listening to my instincts." Bilbo listed, frowning.

Like most pups, Bilbo didn't exactly like explaining his actions to others. Especially if he was explaining what he did wrong, but Balin was an Elder, so he was obliged to obey what he said. 

"Anyway," Bilbo said clapping his hands together like he had seen many Betas do before. "It's time for play!"

"Haven't you already done that?" Dwalin asked, remembering what Bilbo and the other Hobbits had been doing earlier.

"There's more than one play time, of course!" Bilbo laughed. "We Hobbits have a lot of energy, especially the Pups and Omegas."

"What are we supposed to do while you're doing that?" Kili asked, curious.

"You're coming with me," Bilbo replied, affronted. "It would be rude to leave guests alone."

"And you expect us to follow you to whoever’s house and watch you play with other pups?" Dori questioned.

"Smials or Dens, not houses," Bilbo started. "And there will be Betas, Alphas, and Elders around as well. Second play time his supervised in order to safely practice hunting tactics."

Getting impatient, Bilbo stood up and started to head for the door, leaving the dwarfs to scramble after him as to not be left behind.

"We're headed to Beta Underfoot's field," Bilbo explained. "She had the largest field that's not being used for farming right now. Though, that will probably change next growing season."

"If you Hobbits are hunters, then why do you farm?" Nori inquired watching closely as a line of Omegas passed by them on their way back from the forest.

"With the way we eat, Beta Nori, all the animals would be cleared out and we'd be vegetarians. We grow food to tide ourselves over and to feed our prey as they feed us." Bilbo said, speaking like what he was saying was common knowledge.

For Hobbits, maybe it was. They were raised and taught differently than Elves and Dwarfs, but their way of life holds many different cultures that they picked up and twisted to make their own during their traveling. It wasn't unnatural for a Hobbit to feed their prey's offspring after killing one of its relatives. Dwarfs were particularly carnivorous and didn't eat many green. Elves, on the other hand, didn't care much for meat and were primarily vegetarians. Skin-Changers were like Hobbits and ate both meat and plant life.

"How long is it going to take to get to the field?" Bofur asked, his eyes looking at the hills that surrounded Hobbiton.

"We're almost there," Bilbo replied absently, his flared nostrils catching a scent.

"What are you doing?" Kili asked watching Bilbo's nose.

"Catching the scent off Elder Marigold's blueberry pie," the Pup replied, taking another whiff.

"If it smells so good, lad, then why don't you go and get a piece?" Gloin questioned.

"It's a trap," Bilbo spoke. "Elders do this all the time to catch anyone who can't resist temptations. If you can't resist temptation you won't be a good hunter."

Self-restraint was important for Hobbits. If one didn't have it, prey would be scared away and potential crops could be decimated.

"Necessary training," Dwalin nodded agreeing with the purpose of the trap.

"The rest of the Elders think so too, so they create their own," Bilbo nodded.  
Bilbo led the group past Elder Marigold's den, up the hill, and into a large flat plain where several groups of hobbits were located.

"Bilbo!" A young Hobbit called out. "Ma says that you've got dwarfs!"

"Wilimar!" Bilbo greeted. "I don't have dwarfs, you silly, they're my guests."

Wilimar blushed but quickly bounced back. "Do you know what game we're gonna play?"

Bilbo grinned, "I heard Madelgarde, one of your cousins I think, talking about it when I was stocking up yesterday. According to her, we're going to be playing Hide and Seek!"

"Yes!" His question answered Wilimar ran back to the growing group of pups.

"What's so good about Hide and Seek?" Kili questioned.

"First, a Beta or Omega gets chosen as a seeker, then they have to find the pups after giving them 30 seconds to hide. If the seeker finds a pup they have to catch them and take them to the pen, but other pups can free the pups inside the pen. It's so good because the game never ends, the pups free each other and the seekers catch the pups." Bilbo explained.

"What is the pen?" Ori asked.

"It's a large wooden box surrounded by a trench." Bilbo described.

"Anyway," Bilbo said casting an eye to the large group of pups. "I need to go introduce you all to Robur Thornburrow. He's in charge of the group play time today, and he's an Alpha."

Bilbo led the group across the plain and to the small group of Alphas and Betas.

"Alpha Thornburrow," Bilbo bowed before the freckled and red-haired Alpha.

"Ah," Alpha Thornburrow started, "Hello, Pup. You may rise. What can I help you with today?"

Bilbo rose and stated his reason for being there, "A group of dwarfs arrived at my den today, and they are currently my guests. since it is group playtime, and it would be rude to leave guests alone, I brought them with me here. Their group consists of Pups, Betas, and Elders."

Alpha Thornburrow nodded, "Thank you for telling me. Why is there no Alpha?"

"Their Alpha was called to meet the Thain," Bilbo replied.

Accepting his answer, Alpha Thornburrow told him to leave the elders with him and to bring the pups and betas to their respective groups.

Bilbo did as he was told. He left the Elder Dwarfs with Alpha Thornburrow and took the Beta Dwarfs to the beta group after introducing them to the lead Beta.

"Betas Dwalin, Nori, Bombur, Gloin, and Oin this is Beta Herleva Bilberry, the leader of the Beta grouping today." Bilbo introduced.

"Good Afternoon," Beta Bilberry greeted. "I'll be sure to include you in the games today. Carry on, Pup."

With her permission, Bilbo finally arrived at the Pup group just in time for the announcements.

"Attention to all Hobbits!" Alpha Thornburrow called out. "Today we have guests in our community, Dwarves!" The Hobbits all grinned at the closest Dwarf to them. "Their purpose here today is none of our concern. However, since Pup Bilbo Baggins has taken them as guests to his den, they will be participating in our game of the day, and that game will be Hide and Seek!"

The Pups, Omegas, and Betas broke into loud cheers saying "yes'" and "I knew its" and countless other things as well.

Once they had been settled, Alpha Thornburrow began once more. "While I am sure that you all remember the rules, we do have company and though I have no doubt that they play this game in their community, it most likely has different rules than ours. Leaders of each section will have five minutes to go over the rules of Hide and Seek. When the bell rings the game will begin."

"Gather around, pups," Beta Oakbottom commanded. "For those of you who don't know me, I am Beta Oakbottom. My job today is to ensure you all know the rules of the game." He glanced around before continuing. "Since we have limited time you're all going to have to introduce yourselves during the game. Moving on, today's game is Hide and Seek, its purpose for pups is to train your hiding and evasion skills. The rules are simple, if you are caught by a seeker then you go to the pen. The pen is the box to the west surrounded by water. Do you all see it?" After confirming that the pen was seen by the dwarfs he continued. "The seekers consist of omegas and betas, it's up to you to keep track of who's a seeker and who is not. The seeker counts for 30 seconds while everyone else hides. If you're caught the seeker must bring you to the pen. Along the way to the pen if you manage to escape the seeker then you are free to go and hide again. There is always more than one seeker, but they vary between omega and beta. While playing remember to be vigilant." With his instructions over \, Beta Oakbottom watched Alpha Thornburrow.

Meanwhile, Beta Bilberry was explaining things to her group. "Some of you will be seekers and others will hide with the pups. Remember that not all omegas will be hiding. If you are touched by a seeker then you turn into a seeker as well and the seeker that touched you can go hide. You cannot turn the hobbit who touched you into a seeker. The starting seekers are Betas Jasmine Proudfoot and Merimas Longbottom If you catch a pup, take them to the pit. The pit is the wooden box surrounded by water. Can you all see it?" After a couple of moments, she continued. "Be sure not to break, fracture, or sprain anything on anyone. Viligence is key during this game, and don't forget to focus your ears against the cries of the pups and omegas." With her part stated, Beta Bilberry turned to Alpha Thornburrow shut in time to see him bang a fist against a large be hanging on a thick branch.


End file.
